Feckity Feck Feck

Up to St Andrews in the Land Rover. Forth Crossing closed. Feck. Surely they have opened up the old Forth Bridge - nope police cars across the slip road (they were letting taxis across so it was obviously accessible). Feck. Diverted to the Kincardine Bridge, I joined the back end of the stop/start queue eight miles from the bridge. Feck. Two major joining traffic choke points. Feck. Several cars lost the plot (all Audi, BMW and Mercedes) and decided to zip up the hard shoulder - only to find a Graham's Dairy lorry broken down and blocking their path and no one would let them re-join! Hurrah! Just before the bridge they have shut a lane for proposed work. Just bollards and signs, nothing else. Feck. Kincardine Bridge not available north bound. Feck Feck Feck. Blizzard conditions around Kinross. Feck. Anyway a journey that should take an hour door to door took four hours. The journey back was almost as bad.

They have known about the problem with the bridge for ages - ice builds up around the cables then smashes down onto vehicles. Have they done anything about it? Sod all. They had a spokesman on the news tonight who gave a long rambling convoluted statement that repeatedly referred to 'ice secretions'. What he was trying to say was 'getting warmer, ice melting" Idiot. Upshot is they are going to 'monitor it' (which means do sod all about it).

Fekkers, the bridge that will never close my arse.

Anyway home now. Big glass of wine, Radio Times Crossword and I'm going to eat my weight in crisps.