Sub Standard!

Breaking News........... A Russian submarine has been spotted snooping around the Kirkton Fish Ladder. An MOD spokesperson said there was absolutely no danger to any fish....... sorry...... of spotting any fish!

"Boris, Boris......... quick phone the Kremlin and tell Comrade Putin that we've found it!"

"A fish?"

"As if!"

"A spare tyre for his Lada?"

"Niet!"

"For the love of Lenin, whaaaaaaat????"

"The Scot's secret of eternal beauty and infinite wisdom!"

"Suffering Stalinists, just tell me Comrade?"

"Buckfast........... tonic wine!"


Redski Redski Wine