Bed?

She cocks her head as if to say "bed? "

We make our way upstairs, trying to frantically encourage her into the bedroom before she body shakes predictably against JC's door and wakes him. We clamber into bed, stretch out and pull over the covers. She lays her head on the bottom of the bed in her polite, requesting way.

After being told "lie down, in your own bloody bed" she curls up huffily on the floor.

3am I awake, my arms and legs cramping from the cold. Where have my covers gone? Why am I hanging on for dear life on the precipice of the bed?

Because she is not really a dog. She is a ninja.