Compost Bin Laden

Lurking in a corner of the garden by a rogue Christmas tree, it collects all the veg bits, egg boxes and, I confess, grass cuttings at times. Everything inside magically compresses to near zero. It's my very own Hadron Collider, creating black holes into which mountains of compostable material disappears. It's been there many months, sporting a rather snazzy purple elastic band to keep it's door in place (serious design flaw, local council please note). It has immeasurable patience. Its day will come...