Today was hard.

I got a phone call early afternoon to tell me that my swab result was negative. Yay! That then begs the question, if I'm negative, can I go and see everyone properly and touch them and hug them?
...but the test isn't 100%. There's still that degree of uncertainty (up to 30%) and Louisa's parents were -understandably- wary about it. So the answer's no.
But Louisa needed a textbook for her University work so I went over to drop it off and at least say hi. Louisa came out with Owen and put him down (on me saying it was OK) and he came happily trotting towards me smiling. As he got nearer I had to back away from him and say sorry but as I did that and with the look of confusion on his face I could feel my heart breaking. It was horrible and it was all I could do to stop myself breaking down there and then. I'm not sure I'll ever forget that look. Owen brought the ball over to play with me and we rolled it about between us for a little while with him even trying to roll it up the steps to me but I felt like I couldn't stay and still keep it together, I had to say my goodbyes and go. That confused and upset everyone else that I'd just left and didn't even stay for a drink. I cried pretty much all the way home. This separation has been hard in bits so far but today was excruciating, going from really excited to heart broken in the space of a few hours.
I can't wait for them all to come home.

Louisa's lockdown playlist:
Teenage Dream - Katy Perry