A la recherche de l'écureuil perdu

Down in the depths of the darkened tunnel lived a creature whose very existence defied logic. It emerged from nowhere into the tunnel, pausing only to scrabble and scratch, squeak and squirm. For a while, people were afraid of it. It could be the harbinger of untold diseases, be the carrier of bubonic-plague-bearing fleas, have rabies, or support Everton. 

Eventually, the village sent forth a champion to find out what it was and, if all went well, to remove it from the tunnel. But when the champion got there, amidst a great clanging of trays and sounds of the trumpet, the beast had gone. No sign of it ever having been there was to be found. The tunnel was darkened still, and mysterious. No bones of victims were discovered. 

It was, as the champion later said, a figment of Mrs. Ottawacker's bloody imagination.