Love or money?

What's it all about? I remember when the highlight of Valentine's Day was to find a note on a page from a school book pushed into the top of your desk. OK- and it was probably written with a quill. Ha ha. I also remember when the peak of sensual communication was an envelope with SWALK written over the flap. I dread to think what passes for affection on today's 'sensual' txts and emails.

I noticed from TV ads over recent nights that a missive from Moon Pig would be well received as would a comprehensive range of surreal red flowers from Aldi and other assorted kitsch. A perusal of WH Smith's cards revealed a range going from filling pulling sweetness to down right offensive would be welcomed by the one you love - or would like to. They must be laughing all the way to the bank.

I believe the Romans used this time to celebrate a pagan fertility festival of debauchery and gluttony with lots of buttock slapping (with a leather strap made from goat skin) and copious amounts of larks tongues, oysters and honey washed down with flagons of mulsum and passum.

Sod the red roses, I'm off to Rome.