Cailleach

By Cailleach

Scarlet woman....

My sainted mother tried to teach me good manners.

I always write thank you letters, give up my seat on buses, hold my cutlery properly (and yell insults at the people on Come Dine who don't) and generally behave quite well (in public, anyway!)

But there are some situations, when one just doesn't know The Correct Thing To Do.....

Yesterday, as I was playing with the cosmetics testers inspecting the sales floor, I noticed a lady dressed in a very expensive trouser suit. She had a bit of white stuff trailing from the bottom of one leg, and I was about to tell her that she'd dropped a tissue....and then I took a better look.

You know the advert that's constantly on tv - the one where the lovely lady in a purple dress falls out of a taxi and laughs so much that she nearly pis has an 'accident'?
Well, that's what my (oblivious) customer was trailing from her trousers....one of those erm, thingies, whatsits, you know....

So what to do? Should I have;

a) Waltzed up to her and told her straight out? 'Madam. you know those items, you've just bought? Well there's an old one hanging out of yer breeks.'
b) Written a note and pressed it into her hand, along with her till receipt?
c) Prayed to God, that it didn't fall off until she'd left the shop?
d) Run into my office, scarlet in the face, hysterical with laughter, and unable to return for about half an hour?

As usual, I leave it to you to decide....

PS This is Alec the Dalek. I was hoping he'd blast the weeds in my window box, but he just yells 'Exterminate' at random moments, and then fails to do so....

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