Will you be my Covid Valentine?

"Hey, you two. Are you from the same household? You don't look like brother and sister to me, or at least not the proper kind of brother and sister... You must be aware that we are in a Level 5 lockdown. Proof of residence, please, quick. Ha! Exactly what I thought. Not from the same household, no 2 meter separation and no masks! Where are you from young man? The Noggin? Which part of the Noggin? Behind the church? That's 6.3 km as the seagull flies. Let me get my notebook, I'm booking you. EUR100. And you young woman? Monkstown? Monkstown my garda arse. You don't speak like a local. What are you whisperin? Bray. That's more like it. I'm booking you too. EUR100. Hold on. It's Valentine's Day. We're not monsters. We can make allowances for lovers' day, on a particularly difficult year. 10% off. Valentine's Day special. EUR90 each. Or an appearance in court and a fine of up to EUR2000 and/or 3 months in jail. 
You're welcome. 


An Garda Síochána. Keeping the romance alive.