Worlds that dont belong

By Jonny

a bagel???

I set a bagel on fire this morning when I went to make breakfast. It took a great deal of skill mind you.

It's my on call week, so I received a call from the remote office at 7:40a asking for me to take a call from a customer. This killed me getting ready to leave at 8a so I ended up working from home. I discovered that I forgot to slice my bagels this week before freezing them.

Anna moved out yesterday so I have the apartment to myself for the next two weeks, which is until I move out to Newport. Trouble is she took the microwave, toaster, and non-stick frying pans.

I started to defrost the bagel by baking it on a cookie sheet at 350 for a few minutes...then I managed to hack through its half frozen center to at least have it in two halves. I figured Broil would be a wonderful idea...on high. The dial stops at 500F then goes to High Broil...in about three minutes I smelled smoke and discovered it billowing out of the vent in the stove. Lovely. So I pulled the flaming bagels out of the oven, blew them out, and threw them out the back window. Now my apartments pretty smokey, and it sets off the fire alarm.

Lunch wasn't much better...I tried using a little frying pan that we had in the back of a cabinet, and it torched the sides of my sandwich to the point I had to scrape the charcoal off...

I decided to play it safe and got Chinese takeout for dinner...

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