'Kirsty, Kirsty, would you please keep a hold of wee Donald. He still doesn't understand what a pelican crossing is.'
'Well, he's only ever seen geese, and for your information, that's Angus!'
'Is it? So which one's Donald?'
'The one who likes to wander off. For heaven's sake Archie, we've only got seven children. Can you not tell the difference between them yet?'
'We've got seven children???'
'Oh for the love of God....yes, seven. Angus, Donald, Grant, Isla, Rhona, Eleanor and Hiawatha.'
'Your mother insisted. So can we get a move on please? Swimming lessons started ten minutes ago.'
'OK, but you know you said we've got seven children.....well there's one missing.'
'Och it's only Donald; he's nipped off to Africa.'
'Africa? Africa?? What on earth for?'
'You know he likes to be different; he wanted to see a zebra crossing....'