Return of Springtime & my Elves

I trudged out in the nearly pristine springtime snow (one deer and a rabbit ruined the pristiness with their clodhoppers) to capture a blip of the lavender growing hibernating on a snow mound... just to wish everyone a Happy Spring ... no really! Nancy, my master-gardener friend, assured me that we'll only have these 20ºF or (- 6 C) days with overcasting snow flurries until 5th of April.
B-o-r-i-n-g!

And so now, bathroom renovation fans, here's the latest about the worker elves who have been away for four days. To be fair, two days were the weekend, but I still long to have the washer -dryer connected as the bags of laundry are building up. I have been assured by Elf #1 that this WILL happen today.

So, where the heck were they? I'd tried calling Elf #1 several times and left a message, etc. Finally, yesterday afternoon he called to tell me how his life has crashed down around his ears. Oh, and for those following the drama of Elf #2 expecting his 4th daughter: the Highly Expectant mom was supposed to go to the hospital this weekend to get the birth induced. That way the father elf (#2) could be there and at home for her, etc. etc. Quite a hopeful/romantic imagination ruling this young woman, although Elf #2 has stopped saying he's going to throw her out. He wants me to teach her how to use her sewing machine. Told me that today.
Alas, Elf #2-- while chatting to his former girlfriend (#1) who is the mother of his first two daughters who live with him- declared that he had no intention of watching another childbirth! He's said this to me often.
Well, to be helpful, the ex-gf (#1) passed on this crucial information to the current pregnant gf (#2). Furious at our Elf #2 (are you keeping all of this straight?) she refused to go to the hospital. And so, even today, at mid-week she remains hugely pregnant and angry at this insensitive man elf. Could be he's actually ultra-sensitive and it does make him ill to watch the mess of birthing his children tiny elves. Should women really force the fathers of their children to be at that end of the birth process if they do not want to?
Not sure if I mentioned it but on Friday morning the first sign of disaster occurred, well actually, it was on Thursday evening after Elf #1 was told by phone that his live-in gf of perhaps 10 years (? fact check?) had taken his (not hers) daughter to a mall salon to get her long dark hair bleached blond for a beauty pageant. See previous blips for details. As he must have told her right then to "Get OUT" she did. But not before she emptied his bank account of the $40,000 in there. She is also a signer on the account. [Okay, so Elf #1 is a fool... we love him and he does fantastic home renovations and carpentry. Also, he's cute...]
On Friday morning when he came to work he mentioned that he was having a hard time because his long time gf & he were having trouble (little did he know just how much). He'd just gotten a new VISA debit card so he could stop carrying around so much cash. When he tried to use the card on Thursday night, it would not work. He had to borrow $50 at the gas station for his truck fill up. [Note to self: do not buy a diesel truck. Gas is twice as expensive.] VISA told him to wait an hour and the glitch in the system would be fixed. Well, the so-called 'glitch' was the wiped out bank account. All the rest that follows can be filed under "Woman Scorned" activities.
He has an extensive security system on his house. His cell phone is to alert him if an outer door or window is opened in his absence. He keeps a lot of cash in his locked safe. Or at least he did... safe empty and house appeared to be broken into when he got the alert. The system did not warn him immediately for some reason; he is hashing this out with them.
With all his money gone he has no way to continue Elfing. He spoke with the police. He began working right away on trying to get some money into his business. Then to top it off, (this guy's life is starting to sound like a contemporary Job), someone called the Department of Protective Services to report child neglect on Elf #1's part because his daughter, the one with the blond streak down the middle of her hair, is being left all alone after school while he is at work. By law a social worker must immediately come to investigate all complaints.
Yesterday afternoon one of those arrived. He demonstrated his highly sophisticated security system that alerts him if a door or window is opened. And explained his expectation of the daughter to come home from school, to do her homework and stay home, etc. Nothing really wrong with his working parent child care, but it seems to be an all too common practice around here for people to hassle one another with these reports. Wonder who made the anonymous call? Look in the Woman Scorned file, I guess.
Ah, spring!