Do you feel lucky?

Here are Mr and Mrs Bottle, in their brown overcoats, enjoying the evening sun as they look out over the garden.

Little do they suspect that their idyll is about to end. On Sunday, they will be roughly manhandled and taken in an unmarked vehicle to Hallhill Healthy Living Centre, where dozens of brutish young men will be grappling with each other and battling for glory.

Our heroes will be put in a secure area with others of their type before being separated - possibly for ever. The final indignity is that they will be grabbed by the neck and have their clothes ripped off in public, to reveal their true identities. The world will finally know ...





... that Mr Bottle is a rather splendid rose wine, whilst his paramour is a mere raspberry and sparkling water drink.


Yep, there will be a bottle stall at the rugby club tournament. So, do you feel lucky?