Tv time

Today has been hard, just been so overwhelmed navigating my university course, setting up passwords and access to everything online, it’s ridiculously complex. Thankfully I have a 1-1 with my tutor tomorrow morning, I’ve asked for help.

We were meant to be going to Scotland for a week with my sister and her husband. Max was leaving tomorrow and I was going to be joining them after my gig in Bournemouth on the 2nd. I was going to be flying from Bournemouth to Edinburgh staying overnight and then getting a train the next day to Stranraer. My friend Emma was coming to Bournemouth with me and driving but of course because of the petrol shortage she hasn’t been able to get any and wouldn’t of known until tomorrow afternoon if she had any or not which means I wouldn’t know whether she could drive my luggage back to London, I was really stressed about having to fly to Scotland with loads of things I didn’t need on my own, the train journey was going to be 4 1/2 hours the next day….

Max would’ve been working up there on a laptop all week which seems ridiculous as he has loads of illustration to do and photo editing. I would have had to attend college remotely and also do all the associated work while I was there. Both of us are rundown and have coughs and colds, I have vocals waiting to be done which I haven’t been able to do because of my problem with my jaw following my tooth extraction… it was all piling up. We are also both very concerned about the petrol situation although my sister seems confident we are not.

I’ve actually been so stressed and overwhelmed today I’ve been crying and felt quite faint at times which is not like me. I haven’t been sleeping well.

Anyway regrettably we just felt we couldn’t go. It’s such a shame because last year in the lockdown when we had nothing to do we were really looking forward to going with them and then Scotland said that two households couldn’t go on holiday so we couldn’t go and now this year we’re just too busy. Having lost loads of work and money over the last 18 months we just can’t turn down any opportunities at the moment.

The house is an absolute tip and looks like a set of Withnail and I!

Once I have told my sister who was absolutely lovely about it but obviously extremely disappointed I just felt awful, then I got cold and I couldn’t get warm and had to have a hot water bottle and watch RuPaul‘s drag race.

Erin and Gulliver helped to make the dinner with Max which was a lovely lentil cottage pie. At 9:30 I came up to bed feeling exhausted, I am now awake, it’s 2:30 am, I’ve been awake since 1 o’clock worrying about everything….. grrrr

Hopefully I will get back to sleep and tomorrow will be better.