Sheepish Contraptioneer

By PaulCCB

Cheese Vat Ocean

When I was a little boy, we didn't have a bathtub. When it was time for a bath, a big brass tub was dragged out of the pantry to the living room in front of the stove, and water was heated in the kitchen.

Because I was the smallest (and the most delicate), I got first bath. Then water was added to the tub as I was drying off and Mother took her bath. More water, and Dad got the last, then the tub was dragged outside, emptied, dried and returned to the pantry for next time.

The only thing I ever won in a sweepstakes was this ship, and I won it at a grocery store. I had seen pictures of kids playing with boats in tubs, and read about what fun they had, but there was not enough room in our tub to have such fun. with me in the water, there wasn't enough room to float my mighty ocean liner.

I learned to read at an early age, and could read the print on the bottom of my liner, which said:
"SS UNITED STATES"

AMERICA'S SUPER LINER
LENGTH 990' BEAM 101'6".
HEIGHT FROM KEEL TO TOP OF
STACK 175'. 12 DECKS.
PROPELLED BY STEAM TURBINES OF
118,500 HORSE POWER.
MAIDEN VOYAGE JULY 3, 1952.
CROSSED ATLANTIC ON EASTWARD RUN
TIME 3 DAYS, 10 HOURS, 40 MINUTES,
OR 10 HOURS BETTER THAN PREVIOUS
RECORD. SPEED OF CROSSING EQUIVALENT
TO 41 LAND MILES PER HOUR.

But when I tried to make it go fast in the kitchen sink, it just went 'CLUNK' against the other side, so the fancy story on the bottom was just a frustration to me. I actually thought of sanding the bottom smooth, but now I'm glad that I didn't!

Then, the summer I turned six, someone gave my dad the stainless steel cheese vat! He brought it home, and he and my grandfather dragged it out to our back yard.

Ten feet long and two feet deep! It was heavenly when filled with water, though a bit cold even on the hottest days. I learned to swim in it, and how to float on my back well enough that I could lie on the water reading a comic book long enough to get a terrible sun burn.

And best of all, I could finally play with my ocean liner!

Well, we got a new house a couple of years later, and this one had a bathtub. So, the cheese vat fell out of favor, replaced with swimming lessons across town at the municipal pool.

Dad eventually dug a big hole in the back yard, and made the cheese vat into a goldfish pond.

In 1992 when they moved to the coast, partly to be closer to me, Dad surprised me with the revelation that "I've brought your cheese vat. It's around behind the house. You can take it any time you want."

I was boggled beyond belief that he would dig the thing up and empty it (After years, it had filled with slimy greenery and any fish had long died), and what would anyone do with an old cheese vat after all?!?

So, the years passed. First Dad died, then Mother. And since then, I've been cleaning their yard gradually, and there was the cheese vat. "What do I do with that?"

Annie had a plan formulating, so I brought it home, built a stone support for it, re-caulked it, beat out some of the dents and filled it with water - -

And today for the first time in 50-plus years, the ocean liner got to float in the cheese vat for the sake of a Blip, and for the sake of the reminiscences of a former six-year-old contraptioneer.

Looking at that "Super-Liner" of 1952 and comparing it to the cruise ships of today certainly gives one food for thought.

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