Not What It Seems

Went on the hunt today and had to wade through two really bad traffic accidents, one on the A4 (this was frontal, with the windshield of the car looking like 50 spider webs and the front a bit like an accordion), and one on the A20, which I did not get to see but which caused a traffic infarct on the entire ring around Rotterdam.  The objective was The Hague, but that ended up a no-go.  Perhaps it was just as well as I discovered, in the middle of the mess, that I had forgotten my memory card.  As I was already in the process of heading back home anyway, I didn't feel too bad.

What made it a really bad day was the goings on at home before I left and after I returned.  Will not elaborate on all of that here.  Try to imagine two broken people who've suffered tremendous trauma in the past doing their best to resolve an issue but with all the gates closed and defenses on the ready.  The Ellaphant recognized her old self and it was rather frightening to see, and very sad, too, but it is part of her and needs to be embraced and reassured that it doesn't need to fight any more, but that is not so easy to do.  The same with AW.  With the knowledge gained through the years, we realized we were dealing with our past, and it took a tremendous effort to return to the 'now'.  We managed it, but it was exhausting.  We had a very good night's sleep.  No idea what tomorrow will be like, but I think the worst is over.

“When a heart closes, it makes a lot more noise than a door.”

This flower is for us both, to remind us of what we still have and what keeps us together.