Feel the fear and do it anyway

I went for my first Covid vaccine this morning. It has taken me all this time to get to a place, mentally, where I could have it done. I'm not an anti-vaxxer in any way, shape or form... this was purely a personal issue. I suffer from a terrible life-long phobia of medical procedures, particularly anything to do with needles or drawing blood. It probably sounds ridiculous to most people and I used to (be made to) feel so ashamed. I have noticed that children and adults with autism especially are more prone to this. Because of my age I wasn't able to go to my local health centre for the vaccine, which also was a massive barrier to me getting it done.

Before Christmas I had a good chat with both my brothers and mum and told them why I'd not had it done and also that I'd left it so long that I now felt too embarrassed to go. They were very supportive, as were my closest friends. They all encouraged me to speak to my doctor and tell them exactly that and see what could be done. Anyway, long story short (too late!) I got a prescription for Valium and also some slots opened up at my usual health centre (where I feel as comfortable as I'm ever going to in a medical setting) so I took the plunge and booked. I knew once the appointment had been made I would go through with it and not bottle out.

I went this morning. One of the doctors I have seen before gave me the jab and he was so nice when I told him I was there for my first dose and not the booster, and the reason why. He went out of his way to put me at ease and thankfully I didn't faint, or even feel faint, for the first time ever! So thank you kind doctor, thank you to whoever discovered Valium and thank you to the anxiety gods for allowing me to control my breathing and not panic!

I'd like to say, "Well, I've done it once so it will be easier next time!" but we all know that's not going to happen! ;-)

Norm was a star and drove me to the appointment at an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning and then we went for a stroll and a coffee at St. Ives afterwards because the weather was beautiful. Diazepam and then loads of caffeine... I was really trying to confuse my brain this morning!

Glad it's done.