Vorsprung Durch Scheiße

"Advance through <moderately rude word>"

I was given the job of testing a bit of software today.  I'm good at testing software - I can break almost anything.

So - first up - log in.

Give me your customer number said the system.

I have no idea what that is.

I wrote to our Senior Account Manager and asked "What is our customer number?"

He sent me an E-Mail - "It's either this one or this one or this one or maybe this one".

We seem to have a problem recognising the difference between an Arsch and an Ellenbogen.

Being the optimistic type, I tried all of them.  

None of them worked.  None.

I love it when companies introduce improvements that are "seamless and transparent" that will allow you "to hit the ground running".

They never are.  You will merely hit the ground because your parachute. was a teddy bear.  Cute but no <very bad word>  use to anyone.

I'm not a manager so I'm struggling to see how this is progress.