The process of grief...

Early this morning I cried so long and so hard and so uncontrollably I didn't think I could stop. I grabbed the Penny who isn't here in my arms and kissed her and rocked and rocked and rocked nearly hysterical. And then there was a kind of peace and calm and I believe I felt her with me. And then I laid down with my 3 boys and hugged old Sam tight and held on for dear life. And in my mind I prayed and asked Penny to show me some sign that she was with me, and in the place she normally lay when I am on my side, up against my breast with his head pushed into tiny Penny's spot, was gentle. shy little Pugsley, and he gave me kisses and kisses and then snuggled up to me. I felt that Penny sent him along to say, "They boys will take care of you now..." And now, ever since I've been up Peaches is with me, attached to me, in her own way, like Penny used to be.

My animals are healing me...