Test Pieces

Obviously the first pocket watch I ordered hasn't arrived yet but one pocket watch and one wristwatch have.  I'm going to have so much fun making both of them work.

Today was a funny day.  I knew it was going to be odd when I found an email from management trumpeting the first wave of our re-organisation.  We are going to flatten the hierarchy, we are going have a revolution in how we do things, it is going to be brilliant. And here's the new organisation chart.

Oooh.  Would you look at that.  Everyone who was in a management role is still in exactly the same place but they have new titles that have come out of the Senior Management Buzzword Fridge Magnet Box.  It is quite magnificent.

My absolute favourite has to be "CoE Lean Agile Competence Center".  We can ignore the American spelling of "center" because it pales into insignificance when I explain what the CoE stands for...  the full title is "Center of Excellence Lean Agile Competence Center".   I think Zoolander had a hand in that.  Obviously a "center center" is going to be twice as good as a center - and every one of us is going to lean and agile and probably devastatingly good looking.  It's going to be industry leading...

I'm reminded of a company I used to work for.  Somebody got a bee in their bonnet because every other finance company had a Shared Services Centre but we didn't.  Lots of stamping feet and toys out of prams followed.  Said company set up a Shared Services Centre (basically just a way of billing departments for what we did).  No expense spared.  Millions of pounds.  It was entered into competitions you never knew existed and won "Best Shared Service Centre in the UK".  Industry leading, absolutely brilliant and binned a year later.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that management don't have to have good ideas, they just need to have ideas with buzzwords.  But always new words.

So I decided I am no longer a Systems Engineer, I am an Excellence Enablement Engineer and I should really belong to a Center For Bleeding Edge Excellence & Devilishly Good Looking Center Center.  Three Centers sets me apart - makes everyone think "I want one of those".

And do you know what will change?  Nothing.

If they paid me for stupid ideas, I would be a multimillionaire.