Lala's Journal

By Lala

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From a bench. 

Last night was tough, little sleep for me as he was so poorly I kept checking he was still breathing! This morning it was really hard to get him off from our bed and into the chair, to then put him on the hospital bed. His mobility is almost nil, he can only just shuffle his feet. 

The hospice doctor was a lovely lady in her 50s with a wealth of experience. She was amazing. Matter of fact and honest but very gentle. She understood B completely, fortunately she arrived quite early and he was a little more ‘with it’. So, from tomorrow he will have a pump in his arm that the medications will go through constantly taking away the need for pills which are becoming hard to swallow. This means a nurse will be coming daily. Another carer for the evening. Some additional meds to relax and address his mouth problem, she did say the name but I’ve forgotten it. Bonus, I don’t have to bother with the inhalers the GP said to continue, he hates doing them, and I don’t have to worry about him eating if he doesn’t want to. Not sure about the family support she wants to arrange for me! 
As she left and we just briefly chatted and she said probably a couple of weeks. 
B spent the rest of the day mostly sleeping, I spent it talking to the boys, Stalker and my brother and nothing much else. I just wandered from sitting room to kitchen, to garden bench and back again! Lost would be a good word! 

He is asleep again, so I’m going to watch The Hotel Inspector (my original career was in hotel industry) and try to sleep myself. I’m on the sofa for the foreseeable, and that bed makes a monotone ticking noise! 

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