Tarty Plums

Step 1 - pick off tree (they are still not quite ripe)

Step 2 - put in colander and rinse well

Step 3 - toss into saucepan

Step 4 - (dealbreaker tip) look in press and find last jar of Jean’s Port & Orange Cranberry Sauce (surely you kept some for a rainy day). Throw a large tablespoon of it into the saucepan plus a small glass of water

Step 5 - stew.until soft but not to a pulp

Step 6 - serve with blob of gq vanilla yoghurt and very importantly .. warn the diners that there are stones so beware of breaking your gnashers