Uproar of the Common Mice

Toytown's in turmoil. The common mice have had enough of the Piggery.

In previous visits we've heard all about Big Pig, his obsessive self-gratification, and his and the wider herd's aim of hanging on to the Big House. A new PR spokesbird failed to make things better, because every time he put a finger in the dyke Big Pig made another hole. Finally the pigs themselves had had enough of him, and ousted him from the top sty.

Now it's getting madder. Two low-grade pigs are wrestling in the slurry pit, in a fight to be the next Top Pig. The rest of Toytown looks on aghast, especially at the latest suggestion that anyone not suitably pro-piggish should be sent to a re-education sty.

"Living in Animal Farm is bad enough" say the mice. "Now we find they want it to be 1984. It's no help when the pigs think they're better than everyone else, and were educated in Lord of the Flies. Can we please decide which book we're in?"

Still, the common mice are reminding themselves that the end destination for all pigs is the butcher's, and they are sharpening their knives. Singing ...

   You'll never live like common people
   You'll never do whatever common people do
   You'll never fail like common people
   You'll never watch your life slide out of view
   And you dance and drink and screw
   Because there's nothing else to do