Help Needed.... Anyone?

Sorry for not posting for a few days, but have been enjoying some peace after all the palaver with the new kitchen fetting fitted. 
Ive been lolking for an app that I can put my name on my pics , and its been a long and painful journey.  If anyone reading this has any ideas I'm all ears. The text in lightroom and snapseed is very limited and mot what im after. Meanwhile, not having picked Cindy (my Canon) up for a few days due to rain, thought a selfie of me drinking whisky n coke would suffice for now. Tomorrow work starts on a new bathroom.... *sighs, God take me now*