Windmill 'De Kroon' / De Klarendalse Molen, Arnhem

This windmill has two names.
'Kroon' sounds like 'crone' and means 'crown'.
'Klarendaal' is the neighbourhood where it is located.  (English 'Klarendale')
Arnhem has several windmills so I'll be returning here often.

It was built in 1870 and then rebuilt in 1976.  Construction had just about finished when, a few decades later, electricity was introduced.  And then, in the 1920s to 1930s, the Great Depression came, followed not long after by WW2.  Arnhem was not bombed to the ground, but it was the town of the famous 'bridge too far', which I drove on en route to the mill, and at one point there was hardly anyone to man the mill and hardly any money left to run it at all.  Neglect and decay after the war resulted in the mill almost having had to be torn down.  Luckily, a foundation set up in 1964 funded the restoration and now it is in operation again, producing flour for the locals. No panoramic shots as it is standing in a tight space.

It was fortunate I left early.  There were clouds but there was a generous amount of sunshine, a good start.  By the time I was back on the road, the clouds had arrived at the scene, although it did not get seriously dark till closer to home.  No rain, but some light showers.  A good thing that is all it was as water levels have risen everywhere.  Every self-respecting windmill with a drainage function has been at it this past week, but electric pumps all over the country have been hard at work as well.  The Linge ('Ling-uh') in the east excitedly overflowed its banks a bit and flooded the nearby streets, but the water level has ceased to rise and things are slowly getting back to normal.  Even the Mark and the Aa here were observed to be dangerously high.  Fortunately, only up to 'there' and no further.

Got back in time to watch the final day of the European Shorttrack Skating Championships.  We've had a good gold medal harvest, both yesterday and today yielding a huge bounty.  The rest of the afternoon was divided between gaming and work, as well as replying to emails from the Viking.  Very positive emails.

I realize that the reason the case sometimes gets me down is because I connect it very closely to myself.  This case is in defense of myself, the fact that I am here and that I have the right to my own life and my own spot under the sun.  While we were having dinner, AW switched off the TV and I told him about that scientific article I'd posted here not too many weeks ago, about abused children not having any choice but to take the side of their abusers, because not doing so would be choosing to leave the security of the roof above their heads and risking it out there in 'the wild', so instead of blaming their abusers, they blame themselves.  I asked AW why I kept blaming myself, why I kept insisting on bowing to the impossible pressure and agreeing to the unreasonably high standards two people set for me, knowing I could never reach their expectations.  The answer suddenly stared at me in the face -- because my survival depended on it.  Not because I wanted to please them, not because I believed them and the image they had of me, or the lies they told me, but because it had literally become a matter of life and death.

Now that I've sorted THAT out, I think I understand myself a little better.  I also now believe I have some worth, some value, after all.  I don't have to be the best in the world in anything any more, although I think I'm good in a number of things.  Maybe now I can say that they are no longer a threat to me.  Even so, I cannot help but wonder in disbelief at the amount of time that was lost.  I suppose that that is what abuse can do -- it can throw away a person's life as if it had no value at all.

Would I go back and look back and see things, and people, differently now?  No.  Even if I win?  No.  Instead, I will live, and enjoy, my life here.

Downstairs, AW is watching The Return of the King.  They've been showing the full originals instead of the cinema versions.  We have both on DVD, but it's nicer when cable has set it up for us.  While he's viewing it, I'm here, and I'll be going back to my correction work soonest this post is finished.  The weather has been predicted to improve middle of next week.  That is something to look forward to.