my imminent birthday ...

Child and Man and Mother.
All three.
Feckin colluding she-ites.
They know what me ma is getting me for my birthday next week.
Teasing. Tormenting. Dangling hints. Furtive texting.
And now Mum says I have to wait a whole month to get it when she comes down for the Royal Highland Show because it's toooooooo expensive to post.
An elephant?
Too unfair.
And then as I'm asking my partner, very politely and with no violence, what the said present might be, my darling daughter texts my darling partner urging him to delete all texts as I will take his phone when he is sleeping and check up!!!
Love them all.
Sometimes.