Auld reekie...

Doris is a self confessed pyromaniac.

When he texts me at work to say 'Come round for tea, we might put the chimenea on', I know from experience that what he really means, is 'Come round for tea, I'm going to see if I can a) set the chimenea on fire, and b) create more smoke and ash than the local branch of Volcanoes Anonymous ....'

He's not entirely happy unless he can manufacture a flame that can be seen from the Mir space station, and tonight's inferno was judged a roaring (so to speak) success. Apparently, people have been phoning up the police all evening, asking if Arthur's Seat has once again become active - but no, it was only Doris, throwing another forest on the fire....