Sources of annoyance

Street lamp. Ruins any South / South West astrophotography. Also a pointless lamp, in a pointless place. If ever there was a case for a random act of mindless vandalism, that lamp would be it.

Cloud. Completely ruined my view of a bright pass of the ISS.

In other news.
I swam for the second consecutive day. Half a mile each day. Last summer, I was comfortable with a mile, but I am not pushing it too hard just yet.
Second day of no smoking. Actually discovered willpower. It's intriguing to hear myself winning an argument with the little addictive gremlins working in my body. Am definitely determined to join hubby on the no smoking side of the fence.

I also realised today that there is a similarity between people saying "oh, gosh, I had that operation and I was fully recovered by 6/8/10/12 weeks" and teachers saying to other teachers "oh, really, John was badly behaved for you, because he is NEVER like that for me."

It's not helpful. It leaves the person on the receiving end of the comment feeling demoralised and perhaps like they are doing badly.

I am effectively in physical rehab now. I am doing only what I am allowed...swimming, walking, light housework. On a daily basis, that, in equal measure makes me feel a little better and then a little worse. It is a case of three forward, two back. I have to exercise now, gently, to get things settled, soften the internal scar tissue, get my muscle tone back in a variety of places in order to ensure my long term recovery is good. But doing that causes a bit of tenderness/pain later in the day and utterly exhausts me. This is without adding work into the equation.

This is, what I am led to believe by real people (not bloody superheroes), what should happen. Fatigue can take months. Most consultants say that full recovery is twelve months, although a return to work is earlier.

My operation is not the same as any one else's operation, in the same way that every child that we teach in school is different and unique in their own way. You might have been back at work at 8 weeks or bungee jumping at 12 weeks...me, I am not ready, am not recovered, so I am not doing anything other than what is approved.

I guess what I am saying, is what I have said before...yes, I look healthier than I did pre op...but I had been running a normal life with abnormally high levels of chronic pain for two years...I was a zombie. It's not hard to look better than a zombie. I am not a zombie now, but I am still recovering. I haven't got external wounds, there isn't a sign over my head that says "in recovery", but I am. Regardless of how well I look, sound or behave on any given day.

Whinge, whinge, oh woe is me! Haha

If you read this far, you are a trooper. You can have a reward sticker if you want. I needed to vent.

Xx