Snide and Incredulous....

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when you live in beautiful Edinburgh, you tend to completely ignore the Fringe....

Before I moved here, I'd come 'festivaling' for a week, spending a fortune on crappy B&Bs, queuing for hours to see dreadful comedians, paying far too much for a pint of awful cider, and generally having a marvellous time.

Now though, when I actually live bang in the middle of this festival city, I spend my time tutting at tourists, cursing the cars and floating off to Fife....

As Jane Austen was often heard to remark, "Who's the eejit letting off feckin' fireworks at this time of night?"