Orla & Conor

By OrlaConor

Summer Holiday Day 6: Helmsley

Here's the transcription of our family discussion of Day 6:

Okay, summer holiday 2023, day 6. We woke up in the bungalow in Anglesey and I have to
say that I felt that on this particular morning we were super efficient at packing up. Yeah.
We were done by 9.30, which is pretty amazing. That's right. That's because I had, because we'd
decided late the night before that we were going to go and stay in Helmsley on day six,
because the route to Helmsley went right by Wetherby and we couldn't exactly not pop in
and see Grandma and Grandad. So we popped in and said hello to Grandma and Grandad. So I gave it and I
realised that it would be about lunchtime and that it would be rude not, you know, to be kind of too
like late for lunch or the thing. So hence the three hour drive and lots of motorway changing,
because we had to get around Manchester. Yeah, we had to do like the M6 and the M62
and you know when you're not, it was quite stressful. Yeah, there was a lot of cars and motorways.
That was difficult driving. That was about the worst motorway driving you could do really.
Which I was oblivious to. Yeah. The M62 is one of the worst motorways in the country. Yeah.
And yeah, we got to West Winds and had lunch there. So we had soup. Yeah, we had soup,
which I eat most of because soup is different. And the part baked baguettes, which had actually
been bought the last time we were there, which I then took home, took on holiday with her. So they'd
been on this massive trip all around the country just to end up being eaten back when they were
originally bought. And we told Grandma and Grandad about the fact that we weren't,
we were no longer planning to move to Ilkley or Skipton any time soon. Yeah,
that we were going to stay here in our own house. Yeah. We were staying here indefinitely.
And the reasons, the key reason for that was the housing market is absolutely going to crash.
It's on fire. But also we have a lovely house. We also have a lovely, lovely house,
which we don't want to leave. And everything else that we saw was just rubbish in comparison.
Yeah. And overpriced. Yeah. And then after leaving West Winds, we headed off towards Helmsley
on the way after driving up Sutton Bank 25 degree slope and stopped maybe to get a view
of the white horse. However... Well, I thought, so we stopped to take pictures across the Bale of York,
but I thought, we didn't really communicate this, but I thought you were intending that we would
walk to the white horse, which Orla doesn't even know where it is,
but the white horse is literally, it's a horse that's been like carved in the grass.
Gigantic. A gigantic horse. Wow. And that's what we were, that's where I was going,
was to show you the white horse. I thought, I thought Mum was just trying to get a step counting.
Zoomed off. Oh, this is where we got attacked. The reason I had zoomed off is that I was being
beset by flying ants. Yeah. Attack of the killer ants. See, we were in the wrong place at the wrong
time because it was the day of the 9th of August. Remember that day because it was exactly the 9th
of August last year that we were in Malham and got attacked by killer flying ants then.
Yeah. In Malham town. So yeah, 9th of August is when they're most likely to swarm, obviously,
in Yorkshire. No, I don't think it is. I think, I think that's a coincidence. It just so happens
that in both years, the 9th of August was a warm day after. Yeah, a cooler period.
A cooler period, or when it had been raining. And most crucially, it was not windy.
Right. And so the ants swarm. That was, yeah, that was horrible. I then got one in my mouth
as well. It was horrible. We evacuated. They were in my hair. They were like,
on the camera bag strap. I was thankfully spared because I had no skin showing except my face and
hands. And I had a hood, which I put up so they didn't go on my hair. But I had light colored
trousers on so I could see them. Me as well. They were like going down my top. And one of them bit
me. I got bitten on the arm, but it kind of went down. And then after we got back into the car,
Mum then very thankfully... Realized that there was still... Read and described to us all of the
reasons why they swarmed. Including like the fact that there's unfertilized eggs. And I was thinking,
are there eggs now around my body? Why do they jump on you? And I was like, ah.
Oh no, no. You misunderstood. No. The eggs only exist in the colonies. Not when they're swarming.
All right. But yeah, but I did start... They don't lay eggs during a swarm.
I was having kind of quite freaky thoughts about what might be going on
my skin. And I thought, I can't verbalize this right now because I'll freak everybody out.
It's something quite funny. Because the swarm is Virgin Queens who are trying to start a new colony
and male ants. And they are the ones that hatch from unfertilized eggs in the colonies.
Like, and then when they start a new colony, the Queens then fertilize eggs
and they all hatch into female ants who are the workers.
I think I might have cursed us. Because see what I was listening to in the middle of listening to
or near the end of when we stopped there and then got out and then got attacked by killer ants.
I was listening to an episode of like one of the horror podcasts I'm listening to right now,
Magnus Archives. And it was an episode about like insects and someone who is a living hive
for insects. It's worms in that case. But like, still, I might have cursed us.
I really didn't need to know that.
Okay, let's move on.
So we ended up in Helmsley, checked into the Black Swan Hotel.
I had a bit of a queue for reception, everyone was arriving at the same time. And we had two rooms,
room two and room 43, which were about as far apart as possibly
could be. They're about five minute walk. Yeah, I actually felt like they were like different
like universes. Room two had a view right over the square, which was a lovely room.
And it had beams. It was part of the old part. It was all rickety, it was lovely.
All the O'Conor's stayed in that room. And then we stayed in room 43.
Which was like 1960s extension.
And after checking in, we then went out for Orla and Conor's dinner was fish and,
well actually it was just chips, wasn't it?
Orla, you had chicken nuggets.
I had chicken bites and chips and Conor had chips.
And we sat in the square and it was lovely. Although it did take a long time for the,
it was very much peak time at the Deep Blue fish and chip shop.
And then we went for a walk about Helmsley, a little stroll around. It was a lovely warm evening.
Yeah, we passed loads of different cafes.
Yeah.
We passed the castle as well, but we didn't go in.
It's the highest density of cafes probably in the world in Helmsley.
And then, so for the evening, so we went, me and, so Mum and I went to...
Well, you and Conor had like basically a kind of picnic table in your room,
didn't you?
Of chocolate and grapes and raisins and apricots and apples and brioche and all sorts of nice stuff
to eat. And you were able to just watch what you wanted.
For future reference, I was watching Bingo Straydogs..
And Conor was playing on his Switch, playing Tears of the Kingdom and watching stuff on his iPad.
And me and Mum went first to the Helmsley brewery,
which was really nice. And then dinner in the hotel, Black Swan, which was reasonable.
It was kind of like good quality pub food.
It was kind of like pub food.
Yeah.
Although the thing is, we then realised that there were a couple of very nice looking restaurants in Helmsley.
Yeah, so yeah.
That's for another time.
Yeah. But yeah, we were doing about Helmsley and that was the end of it.
Day six.

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