If there were one phrase I'd ban...

If there were one phrase I'd ban, it'd be this: Happy Heavenly Birthday. My God, it sets my teeth on edge, raises the hackles, brings my usual temperate blood levels to the boil. The worst thing is, I have no idea why.

I think it is because it seems so trite. You're remembering a loved one on his/her/their birthday, and wishing that person love. What the feck can be wrong with that? And the answer is, of course, nothing. Maybe it has something to do with the places it is used: i.e., social media. It's as if by saying Happy Heavenly Birthday, you are apportioning a level of sympathy to yourself - you are asking for people to feel sorry for you, craving their compassion. Does anyone ever say it anywhere else?

I'm trying hard to remember if I have ever actually heard anyone saying "Happy Heavenly Birthday" out loud. Not sure I have. It seems to be reserved for Facebook and other SM platforms (social media, not bondage: I imagine if it were used on bondage platforms, the phrase might take on a whole new sinister meaning). 

I thought of all this today, which is my dad's birthday. He would have been 90. And he'd have hated being 90. (I know this because he hated turning 80; he hated turning 75; he hated turning 70... etc. "It makes me sound old," he'd have said. "I'm not old.") And today, there was the predictable "Happy Heavenly Birthday" from family members, all eliciting the predictable mentions of sympathy from various friends ("ooh, are you alright, hun?"), and all getting royally on my tits.

God, I am such a miserable git. Of course, people can grieve and say what they want about their loved ones. Which is why I am sharing a photo of my dad aged 3, and railing against other people :) 

And wishing him a happy birthday via an overfilled glass of single malt this evening.