Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Blip

By alfthomas

Very Definitely a Not-Going-Out Day

Before anyone says anything the camera movement was intentional to reflect the day.

Monday’s Child
Jen, Jenny/Jennifer, was looking in the mirror, they say Monday’s child of fair of face she thought, she laughed out loud. Her thoughts were given rein again, well, they didn’t take me into consideration, I was born on a Monday. It wasn’t that Jen was ugly, in fact she would have passed as being quite beautiful, that is if it wasn’t for the acne. She and her parents had tried every remedy they could find, or that the doctor could suggest, all to no avail. Here she was ready to go to university, and still covered in spots. Some of the girls at school had told her that having sex was the real solution, and that once she was having regular sex her acne would disappear. She didn’t believe them, most of them were wind up merchants at the best of times. Anyway, who would want to have sex with her, all of the boys avoided her, and those that didn’t would never have asked her out, let alone have sex with her.

She knew that she had to do something in the next few months, here she was in April, and would be going off to university in September, so the acne had to go - somehow! She was now seriously considering giving up on university if she couldn’t solve this problem, even if that did annoy the hell out of her parents. So, she hit the internet to see if she could find something that she hadn’t already tried. Thus she came across a forum that said it had all of the answers she would ever need. Having read many threads it became obvious to her that pretty much all of the ideas posted she had already tried, and they hadn’t succeeded. This led her to starting her own post asking for ideas other than had been posted here, as she had tried them all, and none had worked. Jen really was desperate.

There were no responses for a few days. Then one morning her email pinged, just more boring spam she thought, and was inclined, as usual, to ignore/delete it. But something prompted her to open it, it was notifying her that someone had replied to her forum post. Jen hadn’t been expecting any replies, her post was more in frustration/desperation than anything else, so she was surprised that anyone had bothered to reply. She logged in to her account and was surprised that the reply was from someone apparently local

Hi there, I’m Davie. I think I know you, at least by name and sight. If you are who I think you are you are called Jen, no idea about your surname, and you suffer from the same problem as myself. Which, obviously, is why, like me, you are here. You probably won’t know me as we’re at different schools. Like you I have tried all of the solutions posted here, along with many others, none have worked. I suspect that like me other pupils were nice to your face and nasty when you weren’t around. I know for a fact that I was nicknamed Spotty Muldoon, but it is never used to my face. I really would like to talk to you, especially as they do say that two heads are better than one, although I am quite pleased that I only have the one. Maybe if we pool our resources we can find a solution to our problem. I know that I am desperate to find one before going off to university.

Jen didn’t recognise the name, but she thought that she knew ‘Davie’ by sight, if it was who she thought it was he went to the boy’s school down the road from hers. So she replied, after all they had nothing to lose

Hi Davie, yes I am Jen (Marriot). I think I know you by sight from the boy’s school down the road from mine. Until now I didn’t know your name. Also like you I am desperate to find a remedy before going to university, if I can’t I may not go. It did surprise me that you suggested that we talk, you are the first boy that has ever actually wanted to actually talk to me. I agree two heads are better than one, but not on the same body - I also am happy with just the one. Yup, I’m up for it how about we meet by the bandstand around ten on Saturday? Nice and public, and close to a coffee shop.

It was less than five minutes before her email pinged again, and it was Davie confirming that he would be there.

Saturday came and Jen was as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Here she was going out to see someone she didn’t know, someone she had never met, someone who could be a rapist or worse - at least she was meeting him in a public place. She had told her mother where she was going and who, to the extent of her knowledge, she was meeting. Her mother was less than happy, but realised that her daughter had grown up now and told her to be careful. It was with a degree of trepidation that she approached the bandstand. As she got closer Jen knew that she had been right, it was the boy she thought it was, it was also evident that his problem was as bad as, if not worse than, her own. She walked up and said hello, which made him jump as he had not spotted her arrival - obviously he was as nervous as she was. They went and sat on one of the many benches and talked for ages, just getting to know one another, likes/dislikes, interests, pet hates, all of the usual stuff. It quickly became clear that she liked Davie, he was intelligent with a sense of humour similar to her own, and wasn’t afraid of a pun. Eventually Jen suggested that they went and sought out coffee and cake, to which Davie readily agreed - he obviously liked Jen as much as she liked him.

They found a coffee shop and ordered, then found a table by the window. Jen wanted to speak, but waited as she was not sure how to say what she wanted to say. Davie solved the problem
‘I almost didn’t come this morning, I didn’t think you would be interested, girls never have been before, that is except to laugh at me.’
‘I know, I was the same, nervous in the extreme at the thought that a boy actually wanted to talk to me. That really has never happened.’
‘So, our problem, any ideas as to what we are going to do about it?’
Jen was silent for a couple of minutes, she had worked out what she wanted to say, but was struggling for the words to say it, And blurted out
‘Sex …’
‘Shouldn’t we get to know one another better first?’
‘Sorry that came out all wrong. What I was trying to say was that I have been told that sex is good for our problem.’
‘Yes, it is, at least from what I have read. Apparently it is something to do with hormones. But my problem is finding a girl who would want to talk to me, let alone have sex with me.’
‘I know what you mean, it’s the same for me, except that it would be a boy not a girl.’
They both laughed. It hadn’t yet quite dawned on them that they had both found the solution to that particular problem.

Jen and Davie spent most evenings of the next week walking by the river and talking, getting to know one another a lot better. After the first couple of evenings Davie gave her a peck on the cheek when they parted. This left Jen going to bed wishing that he would just take her in his arms and properly snog her. Consequently, by the time she had cleaned her teeth and got ready for bed she was a horny as the day is long.  It was only a couple of days before she decided that she would have to take matters into her own hands, especially as she had worked out that the solution to the sex problem was staring them in the face. Davie was going to have to have a talking to - tomorrow.

Saturday came around, Jen and Davie had agreed to catch a bus into the country and walk in the hills. They had been walking for about an hour before Jen decided that it was time to give Davie his ‘talking to’.
‘Right Davie, don’t you think we need to have a serious talk?’
‘What about?’
‘Us! We’ve known each other for two weeks now, and I think we like each other, and all I have had so far is a measly peck on the cheek. Something has to change.’
‘Well of course I like you, but not being sure if you liked me I was afraid to make a move on you.’
‘Hmm, so the ball is in your court now. I am quite sure that you have worked out by now that the solution to our problem is staring us both in the face.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Well, if sex is the cure why the hell…’
‘…aren’t we having sex…’
‘Exactly!’
‘But I am not sure how, being still a virgin.’
‘Well so am I. But we have both been through sex education, and we know what is supposed to go where, and basically how it all works.’
‘So are you saying that we should have sex, even if it means making it up as we go along?”
‘Precisely! And let’s find out if it really is the cure people say it is. We have tried everything else, what have we got to lose?’
Davie grinned
‘Our virginity!’
‘But that would have happened sooner or later anyway.’
Davie took her in his arms and gave her the most passionate kiss.

They would have been shagging then and there had there not been so many people around. Instead they discussed the future, and discovered that they had both chosen to study history at the same university. It was such a coincidence that Jen was almost tempted to stop not believing in coincidences. On the bus back Davie mentioned that his parents were away for the weekend, and that Jen was welcome to come round for dinner, and desert. She knew full well what Davie had meant by ‘desert’, and was fully up for it. She wasn’t surprised as Davie had told her a couple of weeks before that his parents were going to a wedding. She sent her mother a text telling her not to expect her for dinner, or to wait up as she might be late. This made her mother anxious, and it took several texts to make her see sense, or at least to see things from Jen’s point of view. She discovered that Davie was quite a good cook, and that ‘desert’ was indeed what she had expected it to be and by the end of the evening they were no longer virgins. Davie offered the option of Jen staying the night, which she readily accepted, and suggested that they might watch some sex education videos before bed. Davie agreed, and by breakfast both realised that the videos combined with several bouts of sex had led to much improved techniques. Later that morning Jen’s mother knew at first glance that her daughter was no longer a virgin, but said nothing.

Several weeks passed, during which time Jen and Davie became consummate lovers, and between them had discovered so much more about sex than they had ever been taught - thanks to videos and books. One morning at breakfast that her mother asked
‘What have you been doing, you skin is so much clearer?’
As she never bothered much with looking in a mirror Jen had no idea what her mother was talking about.
‘What are you talking about mum?’
Her mother handed her a mirror, and when she looked in it she was surprised at how little acne she now had. She explained to her mother how she had learned that sex was supposed to be a good remedy for acne, and that she and Davie had been having quite a lot of sex in recent weeks. She also explained to her mum that Davie had the same problem, and if anything worse than she did. So she deduced that it must be true as she had been doing nothing other than having sex with Davie. Now that she thought about it Jen realised that she had noticed a marked improvement in Davie’s skin condition as well - not that she was ever thinking of his skin when she was with him. Her next thought was university here we come, quickly followed by I’m going to fuck him senseless tonight.

***

For those interested more such stories can be found here. Yes, blatant self promotion.

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