An ending

"It is for the sake of you girls - my influence, now, in the years of my prime" - Muriel Spark

Mum slips away peacefully just before 5am. Jol is with her. She just stops muttering to herself and is gone. She looks so peaceful in her bed. 

Jol and I sit with her as the rain hammers down,  occasionally exchanging thoughts and memories. A cup of tea,  a piece of toast. And then it's time to call 111 and get someone out to "certify" the death. 

Once I'm through the "we're experiencing an unusual high volume of calls" queue,  I have to wait for two callbacks. Eventuality a district nurse arrives and leaves us with the paperwork necessary to get the undertakers involved. 

Josie comes to say goodbye and then take Meriel to the station. Moira is in tears. The sun has come out. Fabian arrives. Mum is lifted gingerly onto a stretcher and taken away to a chapel of rest in Swindon. 

I look through an old photo album from the mid 60s. There are plenty of colour photos,  but I'm drawn to this black and white image which captures my parents in their prime. 

Later, Josie returns and Bill and Moira join us around the kitchen table for a drink. I defrost lamb cutlets and bake potatoes.  We eat and drink.

Jol and Josie go home, leaving Fabian and me with a bottle of whisky. We do it (and ourselves) some damage.