Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Blip

By alfthomas

Late Flowering

Wednesday’s Child
Thorn gazed at the beer in front him, thoughts whirling through his mind. He was lost in a reverie. Life was good. Life could have been very different. Born on a Wednesday, his grandmother told him he would be full of woe. His grandfather called him a nasty little bastard. Life could have been very different if his parents hadn’t died in that accident. He could still be an angry bully. He could still be fighting the world. He could be in prison now. He was none of those things. He had a job. He was making new friends. Instead he was sitting here thinking. He was thinking about how he had arrived at this point. He was thinking life is good.

Thorn knew he hadn’t had a promising start in life. He had been an unwanted child. His mother and father had been shagging before they were married. She got pregnant. His father’s mother had forced her son to ‘do the right thing’. They were married three months before Thorn was born. Why had they called him Thorn? That was just asking for trouble - wasn’t it? He experienced rejection from his parents. He was shown no love. He was given no encouragement. Left to his own devices, he hadn’t a chance. Oh, they fed him, but that was about it. He started school with no social skills. He didn’t know the difference between right and wrong. He had no idea of the difference between the truth and a lie. He had a massive chip on his shoulder. He was a bundle of trouble waiting to happen to someone. He happened to the teachers. He happened to other children. He happened to plenty of others as well. Teachers tried to teach him all the things that he should have started school with. It was too late. He seemed destined to be a ‘bad un’ from the start. His primary school teachers were never more pleased to see a pupil leave. Now he would be someone else’s problem.

Things didn’t get any better at secondary school. Teachers were soon referring to a ‘Thorn in the side’. His bullying habits changed though. It made him angry when he saw other kids being bullied. It wasn’t because a kid was being bullied. It was because it wasn’t him bullying them. Then he made life unpleasant for the bully. There was a degree of sympathy for him when his parents died in an accident. Not that it affected him. Except in that he had nowhere to live. No parents. His grandparents didn’t want him. He was put in a foster home with a couple who had a track record with ‘difficult’ children. They had their work cut out with Thorn. They worked a little magic on him. They turned him from an angry bully into a young man who would probably never make a great contribution to society but who would at least stay out of serious trouble. Or so they hoped. They helped him learn how to look after himself. It was obvious he would be alone in the world at first. He found himself work in a laundry. The owner of the laundry, aware of his reputation, was prepared to take a chance on him. The foster parents helped him find a place to live.

He fitted into the laundry well. He was not a problem in any way. Thorn had been a bundle of trouble at school. That didn’t mean that he didn’t learn. He was bright and intelligent deep down. He just never let it show. He was very good-looking. He would have broken many a girl’s heart at school - had they got close to him. But they didn’t. The girls kept their distance. The women at the laundry were a different matter. They saw potential. They fell over each other to provide him with coffee and cakes at break times. They saw something other than husband material. Unaware of the reasons for this, Thorn simply revelled in the attention. One day the owner took him aside.
‘Are you queer boy?’
‘What do you mean queer?’
‘Do you prefer men or women?’
‘Women of course, why do you ask?’
‘Because you never pay any of the women any attention.’
‘That’s because I wouldn’t know where to start.’
‘Ah, I see, still a virgin, but that will change with time, you will learn.’
Of course, he was still a virgin. When he had ever had the chance to not be a virgin?. Girls just didn’t want to know him. Word quickly spread that Thorn was a virgin. This made him a far more interesting prospect for the women.

Soon afterwards Thorn was given a new role in which he was responsible for the preparation of garments for laundering and preparing laundered garments for return to their owners. He had been doing this for a few weeks when he saw the potential to have some fun. The potential for some mischief - something he was very good at. It took him a couple of weeks to formulate a plan. This involved checking who brought laundry in. Then whether or not the same person collected it. He quickly worked out that it was mostly women who dropped off and collected the laundry. He also decided that they were the sort of people he didn’t like. They looked down on him. Before he had a chance to start having fun he was accosted by Sheila, the boss’ secretary. She suggested they went for a drink after work. Something he usually avoided. But he liked her and agreed. He thought she might have been in a class above him at school, but couldn’t be certain.

He was looking forward to meeting Sheila later, He was puzzled as to why had she asked him. He knew she was married, so she wasn’t looking for a husband. But you never knew these days. He put it out of his mind until later. He decided it was time to start implementing ‘plan mischief’. When a suit came back to be prepared for collection, he knew he had his first target. A woman always dropped it off and collected it. A snooty piece of work who treated everyone like shit. He knew what he wanted to do. Here was a pile of dirty laundry that had just been dropped off. There was the suit to be collected. In the pile of dirty laundry, he spotted a pair of skimpy, lacy knickers. Perfect he thought. It was simple to move them from the pile to the jacket pocket. He knew she would notice them when she put the suit away. He knew he couldn’t do this often. He knew he might get away with it now and again. He knew that he would love to be a fly on the wall when her husband was confronted with a lacy pair of knickers that he knew nothing about.

He met Sheila after work, and they went to the Pig and Whistle for a drink. Never one to pussyfoot around she came straight to the point.
‘John told me you were still a virgin. He asked if I knew anyone who could help out.’
‘So do you?’
‘Sort of…’
Thorn interrupted her.
‘How do you mean sort of?’
‘Let me finish and you will know what I mean. You know I’m married to Peter. He sometimes works away. It happens he left for a week away this morning. A week should be enough to teach you all you need to know.’
‘So, you are suggesting that you teach me about sex then?’
‘Yes I am.’
‘But what about your husband, what if he finds out you’ve been unfaithful?’
‘I know for a fact that he is never faithful when he’s away, he loves sex too much for that. I’ve had the odd affair, nothing serious, but I think if he can why can’t I.’
‘Fair enough, how are we going to work this out then?’
‘Well why don’t you stay at mine for a few days. As long as we don’t come to work together no one will know.’
‘Your neighbours will, they always do.’
‘Our nearest neighbour is a hundred yards away and can’t see our front door, so that won’t be a problem. Anyway, they are used to people visiting us.’
So it was settled. Thorn would lose his virginity. Sheila would have fun teaching him. By the end of the week Thorn was well versed in the art of sex. Sheila had taught him that rather than just taking his own pleasure he also had to ensure the woman enjoyed it as well. Sheila informed him that as his stamina improved he would learn to last longer.

A few days later he came back from lunch to the sound of screaming and shouting in the reception. He stood and listened. He knew it was the woman of the suit annoyed about something. He walked around the counter looked her in the eye.
‘Just shut the fuck up will you.’
She looked shocked that someone would speak to her like that.
‘And who the fuck are you then?’
‘Me? I’m Thorn and I can’t stand the sight of you. You come in here and treat people like shit. You expect them to grovel. I’m surprised that someone hasn’t slapped you before now.’
‘Well, this will be your last day here. I want the manager, and you’re going to get the sack.’
‘Go on then, see if I care. I have been treated like shit all my life by far better people than you. You’re a snooty bitch who thinks her shit doesn’t stink. Let me tell you it does. The same as mine. The same as hers, and hers, and his.’
He hadn’t noticed John come in. Obviously he’d heard the shouting.
She saw who he was looking at.
‘Are you the manager of this rabble then?’
‘No madam I own the business.’
‘So much the better, you can sack this thing who calls himself Thorn for being rude to a customer.’
‘Madam, your arrogance to think you can tell me how to run my business is supreme. In fact I do not think that Thorn is a ‘thing’ but a human being. Neither do I think he was rude. His assessment of you seems pretty accurate. Now it would be appreciated if you collected your things, left the premises and didn’t come back.’
Thoroughly deflated she snatched up her things and stormed out. It didn’t seem likely she would ever be back. Nothing more was said at that point. A quiet afternoon stretched out in front of him.

The next morning Sheila was waiting for him when he arrived in the building. She told him that John wanted him immediately. He knew it was the sacking he should have had yesterday. John’s door was open, so he walked in and closed it behind him.
‘Sit down Thorn.’
‘I’d rather take this standing up John.’
‘Fuck’s sake sit down boy. I want to talk to you.’
Thorn sat down.
‘That’s better. You should have been sacked for yesterday’s performance. But I’m not sacking you for it. She wanted that. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. There are a few things that you should know. First, I know all about you and Sheila. No, she didn’t tell me. That secret is safe with me. Second, I knew all about your reputation before you applied for the job. The whole town did. Third, I knew your parents. They should not have been allowed to have children. Lastly, I talked to your foster parents yesterday afternoon, and asked their assessment of you. What they told me didn’t really match what I have seen since you have worked here but after yesterday I fully believe what they said. So what have you to say for yourself.’
‘I am not going to apologise for what I said to her. She deserved it. I could have dressed it up in fancy words, but she would have missed the point. I think she got my point much better with the words I used. I’m grateful that you are not sacking me as I like the job and the people I work with. I can’t promise that it won’t happen again. But if it does it will be for good reason, and I will take the consequences.’
‘Well said Thorn. It seems to me that the boy who left school and the man before me are two very different people. Just don’t rely on me being so lenient in the future. Now back to work.’
He realised that he had almost forgotten to breathe and let out a sigh as he left. Sheila looked up. Thorn told her everything, how John knew about them, and their secret was safe. She stood up, gave him a hug, and whispered ‘yours after work’. He knew then that he had made it. He was pretty chuffed.

Thorn was pulled out of his reverie. Someone came and sat opposite him. He looked up to see it was a girl. She looked quite familiar. He thought he knew her from somewhere.
‘You’re Thorn aren’t you?’
‘Yes, should I know you.’
‘We were at school together. I’m Jenny’.
‘Ah, I didn’t really know any girls at school.’
‘Probably because we all kept well away from you.’
He told her he wasn’t surprised. He explained his background. He also explained that he hadn’t known how the world worked then. She told him that she had really liked him, but that she had been really scared of him as well.
‘I’m a very different person now. I’m finally learning how the world works.’
‘I know, I’ve seen you around. I thought I would take a chance and speak to you.’
‘Can I get you a drink?’
She said she would love a beer.

They spent the rest of the evening chatting and getting to know one another a little better. Something that should have happened at school Thorn thought. Once they were talking Thorn remembered that he had liked her at school. He remembered that he was a loser back then. A loser both in his own eyes and everyone else’s. He remembered the famous Philip Larkin quote. He cursed his parents. A couple more beers and they decided that they should meet up again soon. They parted. Thorn walked home drifting back into his reverie. He was contemplating how different his life was now. He was thinking about new opportunities before him. He knew his life had turned a corner. He now had a good life. He now had girlfriend potential. Yes - life was different now. Yes - life was good.

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