The Way I See Things

By JDO

Boys

Boys, honestly - what are they like? 

The Boy Wonder isn't yet three. By the time he's five they'll probably be doing bungee jumps.

A lovely day with Mr Zip Wire was rudely interrupted at the park when I asked him a perfectly normal, reasonable and civil question. He was standing on a large rock at the time (placed there by the Council, it seems to me, to ensure that the city's hospitals are kept busy), and he gathered himself, filled his lungs, tipped back his head, and roared "IT'S NOT FAIR!!"

"Sorry...?" said R and I, virtually in unison. "What's not fair??"

"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" was the response. "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!"

"Sorry - what??!!"

"Eiver! It's not fair eiver!! IT'S NOT FAIR EIVER!!! AT ALL!!!! IT'S NOT FAIR EIVER AT ALL!!!!!"

He was having such a good time, standing on his rock, performing, that it seemed unfair to interrupt him - though other parents in the playground might have disagreed, I suppose. In the end I announced that I was going to the loo, and went, and when I emerged two minutes later R and the Boy were waiting for me. "Where did you go?" enquired B in a perfectly conversational tone of voice. "I've been looking for you."

Boys, honestly - what are they like?

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