Dog goes to the bar at the Wobbly Duck Pub

A man goes into a bar with his  pet Husky dog. He puts the dog on the bar stool next to him. The bartender wanders over and the man says: "I'll have a pint thanks, mate." The dog says: "I'll have the same."

The bartender does a double- take and looks over to the dog and asks: "Did you just talk?"

"Yep," says the dog. "My God! That's incredible. This is unreal. Who would have thought: a talking dog, here in my bar? Tell me more about yourself. You must have had an amazing life as a talking dog."

The dog assumes an indifferent pose and speaks in quite a matter-of-fact manner.

"Yeah, you could say it's been a journey. I trained for a while with the SAS. Saw a bit of action in Iraq - can't tell you more. I joined the Bolshoi Ballet for a stint. That was hard work but incredibly satisfying. I've written a few best-selling novels in my spare time. That was good fun. Of course, there have been film offers, TV shows. Wine, women and song. All that."

The bartender is now purple with excitement. He turns to the man. "We could make a fortune. We could charge people to come into this bar and hear your dog talk. How much would you charge to allow your dog to talk here?"

"About £10," the man replies.

"Why only £10 - that's madness," exclaims the bartender.
The man answers: "That's because he's a f***** liar. He hasn't done half those things