Brisbane

We watched a lot of tv that next day.  Oh I know what you're saying, "What the hell sort of travel report is this?  Here he is in another new city and he can't even get off his arse to tell us what it's like," but you know - we hadn't seen much TV for WEEKS now.  And I was seriously missing it.  Besides, "The Nitpickers" were on.
 
These are two very bizarre women who come on tv early in the morning to plug their range of nit prevention products including a patented nit-comb that will remove all the eggs.  The most distinguishing feature of their presentation is their delivery which is delivered in a disturbing rote monotone.  They sound like badly-programmed robots, or cult members.  Even Stephen Hawking has more inflection in his voice.  Their message to the world delivered, they then chant, "Don't lose your wits!  Lose those nits!" before handing control back to the normal daytime tv.
 
"Those women are GREAT!" enthused Craig.  "GRANT!  Your girls are on!!"
 
The other great thing we saw in Brisbane was a tv show called "Beauty and The Beast" which was GREAT.  There I was expecting that pooey Linda Hamilton series about the guy who looked like his mother had shagged a ginger tom, but instead we got a panel show where six women deliver their views on the world and each other while the guy hosting it abuses them mercilessly, as in, "I'm sorry love but you've got an ego as big as yer arse".  It was GREAT.
 
The show included segments where ordinary women could audition for the show by sending in tapes of themselves.  The host would then choose his favourites to appear, and be given a makeover ("And that last woman looks like she needs one.")  

He added that "It doesn't matter if you don't win the competition.  If you come 3rd, 4th, 5th or 6th, so long as you've got big tits and a nice arse, I'll still have you on the show."  In the end he settled for a woman with a nice smile, "Yeah, she had nice big teeth.  I'd give her one."
 
Apparently, this show frequently features objects being thrown.  And the best thing about it was that it was on in our "Richard And Judy" afternoon tv slot.  Why don't WE have programs like this???  I'd LOVE to ship this guy over and have him abuse Judy for a half hour or so.