The free bus pass arrived.

Not only do you discover that my birth name is Oliver, but you see a photograph of me looking as if I'm 97 rather than the youthful 60 that I am.

Unperturbed, I took the tram to the airport to buy milk. 

As I handed over the £18 for the milk, it hit me.........this is my life now. I was swallowed by a deep depression.

I went to the ticket desk to see if my pass would get me a free one-way flight to Switzerland.

They laughed at my photo and handed it round the staff room while I stood alone and unintentionally wet myself.

At least the tram home would be free. 

Nice cup of tea and 'Flog It!'. 

One bar on the fire.