I am a 'White Van Man'!!!!!!!

I don't know how it happened....I'm not proud!
They gave me the keys.....they said take it.....it comes with the job!!
Pulse starts to race as I turn the ignition......the next thing I know I'm overtaking four cars on a bend.....Radio 2 is on.....75mph and I havn't a clue where the naff sunglasses came from!!!
I am WHITE VAN MAN........until Friday at least!!! Then Standby duty is over.
I apologise for anyone I cut up on the roads from Arncroach to RAF Leuchars!!