PeterMay

By PeterMay

Before the storm

The temperature touched on 37 degrees today. With high humidity. Not a good temperature. Of course, the storm was inevitable. Huge hailstones, swirling winds, torrential rain. This farmer clearly knew it was on the way and was working hard to get the hay in before it broke. The air was strangely sulphurous, and the hay seemed almost orange.

When it arrived, the rain came pouring down the steps into our living room. My good lady, better known as La Patronne, dealt with it as best she could. I was caught in the middle of making an onion sauce and two wafer thing egg pancakes as a base for some wonderful organic smoked salmon. So it was an equitable division of labour, the reward for which was the scoffing of the aforementioned dish when our duties were done.

I have not blipped for a couple of days, having taken some time to recover from last week's adventures, and steeling myself for a three-week alcohol-free crash diet before resuming the 5:2. I hate how impossible it is to stick to a regime while on the road. I now have a month at home and intend to make good use of it to restore my sylph-like figure.

Contrary to popular opinion I was not distracted by the royal baby. I have spent the last two days watching movies and music videos to avoid the nauseating media coverage of it...er him... whatever.

Oh, and I bought a car today.

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