Christmas Through The Eye of A Needle

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I didn't feel very well today.

I think it was the Xmas feast that I laid on yesterday. My stomach rebelled at all of the roast meat and all of the gravy and all of the potato and all of the Xmas pies and all of the apple pie and all of the custard.

TAKE THAT

Said my stomach at 3am. 

My life continued in this unseemly manner for the next 5 hours. 

Consequently, when it came time for us to go and visit Loulou and Tiger in their SMALL cottage with a SOLE TOILET RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE I balked. 

My stomach blurped. I balked. That was how it went. 

So Caro went on her own and had a fine time, it seems. As for me, I stayed home with my dicky tummy and all of the cats. Funnily enough, my bum was pretty much done with its rebellion by this point. 

All the same I was feeling a bit sore and distended. Also "stingy".

So I watched Terrifier 3 in which a man gets a chainsaw shoved right up his b*mhole.

And I empathised. 

S.