The Pebble Dash

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I'm annoyed. 

I mean, we all suffer from squirty b*mhole from time to time. It's a miserable fact of life to be filed alongside cancelled trains or right-wingers. 

But the thing about squirty b*mhole is that you have it. You do the pebble dash to the toilet and you're done. It's over. Immodium. Sorted. Get on with your life. 

But this upset stomach I've had has lasted four days. FOUR OF THEM.

So I was annoyed. I woke up at 3.30am last night and was VERY grumpy this morning. 

It's now the evening and I've just eaten. I think it's okay...?

I think so. It's hard to say. 

But if I wake up at 3.30am TONIGHT I will be INSUFFERABLE tomorrow. 

S.