Bob's here

Bob and I met as colleagues at Smith College in 1986 and became friends immediately. He left Smith before I did, and he met Jeremy at a square dancing convention in Portland in 1997 (long before I dreamed of living here). They married in Canada the following year. Twice I attended the Oregon Shakespeare Festival with them, and in 2013 I interviewed them and made a book of words and photos for their 15th anniversary. They had a long distance relationship for years, but once Bob retired, they lived together in Vancouver, Canada.

It was not easy for boys to be “sissies” or Queer when they were growing up, but for them, beauty was the best revenge for all that had ever hurt them. They attended opera, theatre, dance, and live music performances. They cooked together and played piano together, and they loved visiting gardens and art galleries. Jeremy began having serious health issues in 2022, and for the last two years of his life he needed a rollator/walker and then a wheelchair to get around. They met Sue the last time they visited Portland, but by then Jeremy was quite frail. 

He and Bob enjoyed twenty-seven years of good life together, and from 2020 till near the time of Jeremy’s death, we had Zoom calls together every month. Jeremy died November 10, 2024. Bob is in town for a few days of ease and being tenderly cared for after the grief of the last six months. He wants to spread some of Jeremy’s ashes near the place where they met, and Sue and I will join him for that ritual tomorrow.

Margie update: I called her today around noon. She answered. She hadn't been awake long, which is unusual. But she knew who I was and sounded cheery, if tired.