My Rose Has Left Me

My Rose has left me, I’m in a mood,

She’s gone to Kenya with the bloke from Allied Carpets; she wasn’t immunised – and that’s a legal requirement,

She’s increasingly slapdash since we bought that new hearthrug; we couldn’t have children – but that didn’t stop us from trying. We were turned down for adoption because of her bizarre appearance.

Oh, Rose how we loved you – but where are you now?

Alone with your salesman, you adulterous cow.

Mulligan & O'Hare