The Green Green Grass of Toor

It very nearly didn't happen...

I remember times when travelling to/from Mayo was a lot less stressful. The last time I headed back to Dublin, Nana and I in her souped up Yaris were stuck behind a convoy of 30 articulated lorries carrying vintage tractors. 

I knew we wouldn't make it to Ballina on time, so we rerouted to Castlebar, with the Yaris on its last (blinking) bar on the petrol gauge. On a road with no petrol stations till... Castlebar. 

I tend to get mocked for being overly cautious when I travel somewhere and leave early. Ridiculously early. Well, I'm glad I'm ridiculous in my earliness. 

This morning I walked to bus stop at 10.45 (for the 12.45 Heuston to Wesport train) thinking that if there was an E2 coming I'd grab it to Dun Laoghaire, catch a Dart and the Luas, maybe check IMMA for half an hour if I was way too early. 

The alternative is a 15 minute walk to Monkstown and a direct #4 bus to Heuston. But it takes ages and traffic is a mess at Merrion Square due to Pearse street redirection of traffic. 

Anyway, got the E2, and there wasn't too much traffic down to Dun Laoghaire, even though it was a warm, sunny morning. Got to the station. No shagin darts northbound (engineering works...). Shite shite shite. I grabbed an E2 back in the opposite direction, it was 11.10 by then, aiming for the city centre and then the Luas. At 11.30 I was only at Honeypark. The traffic ahead towards Bakers Corner looked mental, so decided to hop off and walk to Monkstown to catch the #4 after all. One hour after setting off, I was back to square one... 

I ran to Monkstown and just missed a #4 and waited 10 minutes for the other one to arrive at the terminus. The driver was on his mini break between runs but he was really nice. He told me it would take 45 minutes max. It is usually is 35 minutes but Saturday traffic is unpredictable. He even shortened his break and left Monkstown at 11.50 (55 minutes to train departure) It initially went well and we made good progress as far St Vincent's Hospital. Then it went all pear-shaped...

 11.15 Ballsbridge, loads of people who couldn't get on the Dart try to get on any bus. That's at every single shaggin stop from Ballsbridge onwards. The bus is by now jam packed. Very slow at each stop, as the driver is only able to offload the couple of people looking to get off in Ballsbridge (not much to see/do in Ballsbridge on a Saturday morning. Or any other time). There were by now a lot of increasingly angry people. Those on the packed bus. And those trying to get on the packed bus...  Clock ticking. There was the obligatory mum with a collapsible buggy that wouldn't collapse. And the American tourists outside the Four Seasons with no Leap card trying to pay with notes (wouldn't be surprised if they tried sterling, it's all the UK anyway) 

By the time we got to Merrion Square (12.25) I was getting very worried. I had looked up the later trains (14.45 and 18.15) and both were sold out. The city centre was very busy with carefree tourists with tons of time on their hands, the bastards. Loads of people slowly getting off. 

We finally made it to the Ha' Penny bridge at 12.38 The driver was really nice and really supportive but he informed me that it usually took 7 to 9 minutes to Heuston from there, depending on the lights. The train to Westport always leaves on time, annoyingly enough. It's possibly the only train on the Iarnrod Eireann network that I have always seen leave on time. And most of the time it leaves from the rightmost track at Heuston, a good 3 minute walk from the main gate. 

The bus driver ended up going through a red light and didn't stop at the usual stop but drove me straight down to the rightmost entrance (there were two very unimpressed heads that did not approved of the last minute reroute...) 

I got off the bus at exactly 12.45. To find out the today the train to Westport would leave (or had left or was in the process of leaving) from platform 3!!! 
I ran like a lunatic, jumped over the gate with my two bags (one contained Cordula's precious birthday cake) , ran some more while shouting "Hold it! Pleeeeeease!" and got on the train quite literally as the door closed. 

Jay-zus. Traveling to/from Mayo used to be a lot more relaxing...