Legs that do gardening

I have not lain in my hammock for over five years and I have missed it badly. My grafted tree, planted in March will not be big enough to support a hammock in my lifetime so I can no longer sway gently under apple leaves, but I could have slung it between these two walls when the terrace was laid 18 months ago, had the garden been less of a building-site wreck.

With the garden now being a lot more relaxing than it's been since I moved in, and with me being older and tireder and needing to rest more, and with the warmer weather, and with the landscaper having finally removed the equipment that was in the way, slinging my hammock has become more pressing.

I've done lots of reading about how to support hammocks, I bought expansion anchor bolts that should work, I read some more and exchanged the eye bolts for hook bolts so I can easily take the hammock indoors when rain starts, I read about knots and did loads of measurements and calculations (about how high to put the bolts given the length of my hammock, the height I want to lie, and the too-short space between the only walls I can use) and, despite all that, my nervousness about getting it wrong has stopped me doing the job three times.

Suddenly this afternoon it was all I wanted to do. Drilling the holes and installing the bolts was easier and quicker than I expected but... but, when I slung the hammock it was far too low. I hadn't included elasticity in my calculations.

Well, I'd bought a value-pack of ten bolts rather than just two, knowing that something could go wrong, so I left the first two bolts where they were (they might be usable for something else sometime) and installed another pair four bricks higher. Perfect.

The bolts need to be tight enough to hold my weight but not so tight that they damage the brick they are in so, for the time being, I am getting in and out very gingerly and I've put big cushions under the hammock in case it collapses with me in it. I've realised that I need to read up on torque, and maybe borrow a torque wrench. But, so far, all seems to be fine.

It is so, so relaxing lying in my hammock that I lay in it a bit more after I got back from band practice, even though it was the coolest 10pm we've had for a fortnight.