Melisseus

By Melisseus

Unlucky

We get used to the history at our heritage sites being authenticated, curated, subject to research by genuine academic expertise. The National Trust and English Heritage have an agenda and their interpretations might be challenged, but they are not usually making it up

Today, we went a little off grid. A tour around one of Britain's oldest properties, but even the guide couldn't keep her tongue in her cheek for some of the anecdotes in her script. The house has been made over so many times - most recently with a conscious attempt to reconstruct history "as it might have been" - that it is difficult to disentangle truth from fiction, and no-one seems inclined to try

What became clear is that it has had some very bad luck. Less than 10 years before 1066, it was owned by Harold Godwinson; he may or may not have built a house, parts of which may or may not remain. Of course it became Norman booty, but none of the lords it was assigned to took much interest and the place gets its odd name from the caretaker who was left to keep it intact while they got on with lording

During the reign of Mary Queen of Scots, the then owner rashly invited her to visit. Because she said she might, he had to keep a room lavishly decorated and prepared to receive her at any time - as it still remains (maybe). Of course she never came

The Catholic owners in the Civil War had to run for their lives from Parliamentarians venting their spite after their defeat at the battle of Ludlow. The octogenarian priest they left behind became the scape-goat when he failed to make it to his priest-hole in time

There is a poignant story of an only daughter who was supposed to marry up, to bring in funds to restore the damaged house after the restoration. Instead she eloped with a gardener but returned four years later and was then 'imprisoned' in 'Hetty's Room' for 40 years. Vindictive cruelty or compassion for a child who may have returned mentally or physically fragile and in need of constant care? These children's words veer in one direction; our guide thought the other was plausible. I'm sure the National Trust would settle it

My picture is the piece from which the illustration of the poetry is taken - the most eye-catching thing in the house - Jacobean wood carving. But it's not in Hetty's room, it's in the music room downstairs. How easily history is moulded

Marriage on the 13th has not been unlucky for us - 40 years on, we are still finding amusement together from cod history and life's absurdities. We celebrated by buying a laundry basket and getting both a good laugh and a good meal at The Moody Cow

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