Guilt

Our Barn Swallows are onto second broods, which are now big enough to pop their heads over the parapet. And some might go a little too far.

Popped out after work to do a quick half our on the turbo, and found a little nestling on the ground. Still alive, I drew a line up to the possible nests, and saaw this lot peering over at me. They, however, looked significantly bigger than the bundle of fluff, with no red chin yet, that was in my hand, so I determined there was a younger brood in the next nest along.

Ladders (much to Mel's displeasure, given the height) and popped him back in. But later, watching the nests, only the one with the heads peering over was getting visited. I might have put it in the wrong (abandoned) nest.

It doesn't give much comfort to assume that he was the runt, and with obviously bigger siblings was likely not to survive; nor that if I hadn't gone out in that specific moment I likely wouldn't have even known of his existence - that likely wiped out by a cat or a Magpie. But I didn't want to climb again to try and reach in to displace him again, partly because it may still be that the nest is occupied and I didn't want to damage it; but also because I didn't want to disturb a nest with clearly healthy nestlings in it, potentially inducing panic that could see more fall, not to mention the stress caused to the parents. And indeed, as the runt did he jump or was he pushed, and could it simply happen again?

He may still be found. He may survive. But the guilt weighs heavy, as it always does when you try to do the right thing....