Getting On

Balance is the key to life struggling to keep sane
To tear it with a knife would make the balance turn to rain

There have been articles in the news about the reliance of young families on grand-parents for childcare. These have sometimes been slanted towards the cost of living (which really means the cost of housing) and the cost of childcare. Other pieces take the grandparents viewpoint and use words like 'exploitation', 'resentment' and 'burn-out' - even 'revolt'

There is a serious point amid the news froth. For many young people, living alone together is only feasible if there are two incomes. Adding children to the mix either puts a big hole in the combined income or adds a big cost. The maths is much more vicious now than it was 30+ years ago when we wrestled with these issues. Another manifestation of ours being the luckiest generation

The family dynamics involved in getting grand-parents to help solve the equation are complex - potentially reaching back into the childhood of those who are now parents - or further back than that - reviving old resentments, fears and insecurities. Add in failing health and reducing energy, and you can see why this sometimes get a bit incendiary

We are still in the foothills of all this - feeling that our ongoing involvement with our grandsons is a new, joyful privilege on top of all the others. Today we were entertained and delighted by one of them for four hours and the other for two. Of course, we are well aware that we can currently run and think faster than them, but that is changing fast. Burn-out is not yet ruled out! 

The gate made enough of an impression that it stopped me for a picture as we hurried to our second assignment. I couldn't read the inscription (above) in the bright sunlight, and I can't find the poem it supposedly comes from; in isolation, the two lines are a bit nonsensical, but keeping balance to stay sane struck a chord. A fuller story of the 'snow gate' is here. It is no longer in the first flush of youth as it was when the pictures in the link were made, but age can add interesting layers