Purpose

Today went something like this:
Gemma woke me up really early, texting me, to see if I'd put some money into her account because she was on her way to Cardiff
Then it was...
Plumber arriving to fit basin and toilet and shower, and put radiator back.
Me hastilly tidying up upstairs so people wouldn't know quite what a slob I am. (Ah. According to today's news, the word should be slut).
Richard taking Tess to school then going to work for a bit.
New wellies arriving (Hooray!)
Me earthing up my winter potatoes.
Joel getting up and taking a shower before midday on his day off (!) (fortunately we have a second bathroom)
Me cleaning up after Joel.
Richard taking old bathroom stuff to the dump.
Me gathering grub from the garden (not grubs).
Electrician arriving to fix the bathroom lights and fans (we've been living with broken ones for years)
Me making home-grown lunch with tomatoes, courgettes, apples (yes, apples), mackerel and polenta (okay: mackerel and polenta weren't home-grown... that would be nice..).
Plumber having to finish early becsue he had other jobs to do.
Me trying to get rid of fishy smell in the kitchen.
Us taking the dog for a walk.
Joel cycling to Braunton to get his hair cut.
Us coming back to find the electrician had finished and the house was empty and open
Me cleaning up after the plumber and electrician (they'd been really careful and tidy so it was just hoovering and wiping).
Joel coming back and taking another shower.
Me taking my camera outside and breathing slowly and watching bees.
Me cleaning up after Joel again.
Me cooking an early tea for Tess and Joel because they said they were starving.
Richard going to buy radiator paint and brushes and replacement light pull chord.
Boiler man coming to fix buggered old boiler (NO, NOT ME!) that should have gone years ago.
Me and Richard having an altercation about money.
Me getting upset about everything and trying not to have an anxiety attack.
Me sitting at the computer trying to sort out some finances, pay the boiler man and do a grocery order.
Gemma texting again to say she'd seen someone we know in Cardiff, and she loves Cardiff.
Me cooking a red, coconut prawn curry.
Tess showing me a book written by another Rachel Carter in her school book magazine.
Me feeling sorry for myself that it wasn't me.
Me feeling stupidly guilty about not paying Tess enough attention this week.
Me eating far too much because I needed the comfort.
Me biting a finger nail down too far.

Me realising if you do this you can see that you've actually done quite a lot but still wishing I was doing one or two things really well and not pissing about.

Me downloading a children's book on my Kindle because I can't cope with grown up books when I feel like this (I found 7 unfinished books under my bed yesterday).


Imagine being a bee and just doing exactly what you're supposed to do and not being confused.